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Abstract
In times of happiness I write. In times of stress I write. Writing has always been my place of refuge. My journey as black, Muslim, and immigrant in the United States has given me ample opportunity to write. This is an innovative work of autobiographical creative nonfiction that is structured as reflections followed by poems. My intent is to give reflective details of my life as an “Other,” and complement it with original poems and a short story. This thesis is intended as a vignette through which I aim to show a view of my life experiences. As much as I would like to think that this work is truly innovative and one-of-a-kind, several books and authors had already explored multi-cultural identities, the search and yearning for a place to call home, and the complexities of assimilation/nostalgia—which were my goals at the onset of this book. Tunisian-American poet Leila Chatti is one such author. In her collection of poems titled Tunsiya/Amrikiya, she details a tapestry of rich threads of a world made of both American and Tunisian experiences. In an interview about her book, she states that she “live[s] in a perpetual state of longing…I have two languages, two cultures, two parent faith, and they all get jumbled up.” This collection is intended to reflect that exact same sentiment. The aim is to point out that the words “nostalgia” and “assimilation” are incompatible concepts. For immigrants like myself, the need to sentimentalize and yearn for the happiness of home is a constant occurrence. The problem is, nostalgic reminisce of a former place or time stands in sharp contrast to the concept of assimilation, which is defined as, conforming to the customs and attitudes of a nation. You cannot have both; therefore, you are condemned to choose a life of either constant melancholy or that of a “real American,” whatever that means. During this journey, back home, I lost two sisters, a brother, countless relatives, and missed bonding with my aging parents. In America, I encountered and combated racism, xenophobia, and Islamophobia. This is my story in verse and prose.